Beautiful
by Shauna3
Summary: Jess is invited to Rory and Logan's rehearsal dinner. Enough said. The first half of this story was previously posted elsewhere.
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: I don't own anything associated with Gilmore Girls or the song "beautiful disaster"

Jess had enough. He had promised her that he would be there, but he really didn't think he could take anymore. After all, how long could anyone expect him to sit at the wedding rehearsal of the girl he loved? When Luke sat back down beside him, he decided to make his exit.

"I'm leaving," he simply stated and began to gather his belongings.

Luke simply nodded, understanding that this whole thing was extremely difficult for Jess, even if he would never show it.

Of course, things are never that simple for the Gilmores. Seeing that he appeared to be leaving, a very nervous Rory Gilmore excused herself from the conversation that she was attempting to have with Honor Huntzberger, to follow him.

"Jess... wait... Jess where are you going?" They were in the lobby of the dining hall by the time he turned around.

"Sorry, I was going to say good bye, but it looked like you were busy."

"Please don't go yet.." Rory fidgeted with her hair and her dress. It had been obvious to everyone present just how nervous she really was.

"Rory, I have to work before the wedding. I have to get up pretty early tomorrow."

"Jess...please..just dance with me." The urgency in her voice was increasing, but he looked away.

"No Rory. I need to go."

"One dance, please, then I promise you can go." Her blue eyes were slowly filling with tears.

"Why Rory? Why is this so important to you?" He was starting to get upset now, didn't she know that this was killing him?

"I just ... I want... I need.." She couldn't find the right words. She was terrified and desperate, how could she make him understand that she had to be sure?

"You what, Rory? What do you want from me? One dance isn't going to change anything! You're still getting married tomorrow! It's not going to change this!" He lifted her left hand motioning to her engagement ring as he said the last part.

A tear began to run down her cheek. There was nothing more she could say so she simply looked back into his eyes silently asking him one more time.

Jess sighed. He had immediately regretted raising his voice. "One dance."

-------

Seeing the two of them walking back into the reception hall, Lane, who had been DJing the event (much to the Huntzbergers' dismay) immediately sprang into action.

As they walked to the floor, the first few notes of the piano version of Beautiful Disaster began to play.

*He drowns in his dreams  
An exquisite extreme I know  
He's as damned as he seems  
And more heaven than a heart could hold  
And if I try to save him  
My whole world would cave in  
It just ain't right  
It just ain't right *

Dancing as close as they were, it didn't take long before she felt he had a book tucked away in his jacket. She looked up at him and for the first time all night she had a sparkle in her eyes. "You brought a book." Jess smirked down at her, and for a moment, everything seemed alright. "Did you expect any less?"

*Oh and I don't know  
I don't know what he's after  
But he's so beautiful  
Such a beautiful disaster  
And if I could hold on  
Through the tears and the laughter  
Would it be beautiful?  
Or just a beautiful disaster*

She glanced up at him as he held her. "What book did you bring?"

Jess laughed a little. "It's just a book."

*He's magic and myth  
As strong as what I believe  
A tragedy with  
More damage than a soul should see  
But do I try to change him  
So hard not to blame him  
Hold on tight  
Baby, hold on tight*

The urgency began to come back to her, as if something had just clicked in her mind. "Jess what book?" She asked the question completely serious this time.

*Oh and I don't know  
I don't know what he's after  
But he's so beautiful  
Such a beautiful disaster  
And if I could hold on  
Through the tears and the laughter  
Would it be beautiful?  
Or just a beautiful disaster*

"Howl," he whispered staring intently into her eyes.

*I'm longing for love and the logical  
But he's only happy hysterical  
I'm searching for some kind of miracle  
Waiting so long  
I've waited so long

He's soft to the touch  
But afraid at the end he breaks  
He's never enough  
And still leaves more than I can take*

She didn't realize she had kissed him until after she heard the shocked noises from the guests. Suddenly she froze and he, knowing the realization would hit her, slowly let go of her.

*Oh and I don't know  
I don't know what he's after  
But he's so beautiful  
Such a beautiful disaster  
And if I could hold on  
Through the tears and the laughter  
Would it be beautiful?  
Or just a beautiful disaster

He's beautiful  
Lord he's so beautiful

He's beautiful….*

She was gone from the hall before the final notes of the song. Logan was being held back and calmed by his father, Lorelai and Lane had followed Rory and Jess was left standing alone in the middle of the dance floor.


	2. Chapter 2

Jess stood in the middle of the room trying to decide if it would be better to follow her or to make a quick exit. Luke, finally reacting to what had just occurred, walked over and rested a hand on Jess's shoulder. "Let's go."

On their way out of the building, Jess saw Rory. She was hysterical crying and surrounded by her mother and Lane. Unable to watch her cry, Jess abruptly pulled away from Luke and walked over to her.

"Rory..." He was not sure exactly how she would react to him and was trying to feel her out.

To everyone's surprise, Rory let out a loud, long, laugh. After a minute, she became aware of the curious stares around her.

"It's Jess." Her laughter stopped as the tears resumed and she turned her attention directly to him. "Of course, it's Jess. God, I am so tired of everything in my life being about you! Every time you show up, something bad happens. You just won't go away."

Jess felt terrible that she was so upset. He actually felt really bad about the whole situation but the last statement made him feel like the vulnerable boy outside her dorm room again.

"Rory, you know that's not fair." It was taking everything he had to stay calm.

"Fair? It's more than fair.. I broke up with Dean for you. I broke up Dean's marriage to prove to myself that I was right to say no to you. Logan and I broke up because of you. And now? My engagement- my wedding! It's all ruined because of you! Are you happy now?? Do you still want to talk about fair?"

The tears were pouring out of her eyes like rain. As the words were leaving her mouth she knew they weren't right, but she didn't care. She was angry and he was going to be the one to pay for it.

Jess on the other hand, had finally had enough.

"You know what Rory? You were the one who invited me here. You were the one who made me stay. You were the one who made me dance with you and YOU were the one who kissed me! I get it, ok? It didn't mean anything to you. You're just mad because everyone was there to see it. They all saw and now you can't hide it or blame anyone else. I've fucked up before, we all know that, but this one's on you."

With that, he turned around and stormed out. This time it was Rory's turn to be left standing in shock.


	3. Chapter 3

AN: Sooo sorry it's been so long.. I really want to continue this story though, so here's sort of a transition. I promise more will be up soon!

* * *

Luke walked with Jess all the way to his car before either of them spoke. As Jess opened the door, Luke finally broke the silence.

"You're going home."

As Jess turned to face him, it became obvious that he was completely drained of energy at this point and it took everything he had left to remain patient.

"I came here for a wedding. There either won't be one or I won't be welcome at it. There isn't really much point in staying."

"We could…" Luke began, however he trailed off when he saw a flash of pain in Jess's eyes. "Another time."

Jess simply nodded, got into his car and drove away.

* * *

Back on the steps of the small reception hall, Rory still sat crying with Lane and Lorelai on each side of her, both unsure of who she was crying over. The only words that she kept repeating were "How could I do that to him."

The three girls stayed just like that for about forty minutes before Mrs. Huntzberger emerged from the doorway. With a fake smile plastered on her face she addressed Rory.

"Rory, I do hope you're friend isn't coming to the wedding. Please make sure of that. We will see you tomorrow." With those simple words, she spun around and motioned to the valet.

The three girls stared in absolute shock after her. Unfortunately, they did not have time to process these words before Logan emerged. He walked directly over to Rory, without so much as a glance to the other two women, and gave her a kiss on the cheek.

When he spoke, it was in a low, menacing tone. "Don't think that you will ever see him again. I'll see you tomorrow. Love you Ace." Mimicking his mother from just moments earlier, he signaled the valet and then disappeared.

Before anyone could comment on what had just transpired, Luke stepped in as the voice of reason.

"I think that we should all head home." The three just nodded silently and followed.

* * *

Back at the Gilmore-Danes house, Rory and Lorelai sat across from each other at the kitchen table, each with a cup of coffee.

Lorelai began, "So tomorrow…"

"Tomorrow I get married," Rory completed without looking up from her coffee.

"Rory… just because it's planned- that's not a reason to do it. The Huntzbergers seem to think it is, but if that's the reason, you can still change your mind."

"I love him. We're engaged. Everyone's here .."

"Why did you make Jess dance with you? I heard you... you were pretty insistent. "

With the mention of his name, Rory visibly shrank back. Her voice became almost a whisper. "I just wanted to make sure."

When she failed to elaborate, Lorelai took a different approach. "How do you feel about what Logan said? About never seeing Jess again?"

For the first time, Rory's head snapped up. " You don't really think… I mean... He's Luke's nephew after all..." After a pause, she looked back down and continued. "I guess I never thought about that. He always pops back into my life eventually. I just never considered the possibility that one of those times would really be the last."

"What am I going to do?"

Lorelai smiled sadly at her daughter. "Only you can make that decision, but whatever you decide, I'll be there to back you up."

"Thanks Mom, I know. I think I need to get some rest." With that, Rory retreated to her room.

* * *

It was no surprise to Rory that she was unable to sleep. After trying to read and not being able to focus, she went under her childhood bed and pulled out her "Jess box." She liked to keep this one handy for two reasons. One was that she was always adding to it and the other was because she was never quite ready to pack it away. Knowing exactly what she was looking for, she quickly pulled out a tape that Jess had made for her. She had been having trouble sleeping during her midterms and so he surprised her with a "bedtime tape." It was a collection of Elliott Smith songs that he liked and had hoped she would too. She hadn't been able to listen to it since he left.

* * *

Jess wanted to go straight back to the diner, pack up his stuff and leave. When he arrived back, however, he realized that he was shaking. The idea of driving that far no longer seemed plausible.

After walking around the town for a few hours, and smoking what was left of his cigarettes, he finally seemed calm enough to begin to pack.

It was just as he was finishing up that he heard the bell over the diner door jingle. Figuring that it was just Luke coming to see if he left yet, he didn't give it too much attention.

As he opened the apartment door to leave, he dropped his bag in surprise when he almost ran directly into Rory.

She stared into his eyes, her own eyes bright red from crying.

"Come with me.." She had never before sounded so determined in her life.


End file.
